Great Blog

"You look just like Stephen Hawking … Relax, I meant like a non-paralyzed version of him. Feel better?… Fine. Forget I said it."

"Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn’t invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."

"You worry too much. Eat some bacon… What? No, I got no idea if it’ll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon."

"We didn’t have a prom. Dancing wasn’t allowed…What’s Footloose?…That’s the plot of the movie? That sounds like a pile of shit."

"The worst thing you can be is a liar….Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2."

from Shit My Dad Says. So amusing.